My GG (Gorgeous Guy) and I were listening to the radio the other day and there was a relationship expert on and he was asked this question ‘what was the best time in your relationship?’ GG and I looked at each other and both said ‘now’.
We have been together, in a relationship, for just over 20 years, there’s been ups and downs but for us, the best time is now and in another 20 years it will be at that point, not the past, sure great moments have happened but we like where we are right now.
I’m not sure what it is but so many people have an unrealistic view of what it is to be in a relationship. When you’re in a relationship you need somebody who’s going to call you out when you’re being a dickhead, you don’t want someone who is going to let your bad behavior slide.
Real relationships aren’t fairy tales and he isn’t going to be your Prince Charming and whisk you away from your life and she isn’t going to be some hot model who wants to cater to your every need. You’re seriously going to piss each other off. That’s OK. What’s not ok is letting those feelings take over. You need to learn to communicate and communicate well, not yell and blame the other person for everything. He’s going to forget something that was important to you and she’s going to leave beauty crap all over the bathroom.
Reality is when you’re in a relationship it’s not 50/50 it’s 100/100, you both have to give 100% to the relationship, you both have to sit down and actually TALK to each other, about your hopes and dreams because these will constantly change as we grow and experience different things.
When you’re looking for that right someone, it’s not what you have in your head you want, you need to understand what you as a person need in a partner, someone who will compliment who you are but also push your buttons, who will encourage you to be your best and be supportive in that quest, make you think twice about your views, they’re not going to agree with you all the time. And you know what? YOU have to be that person for them, because going into a relationship isn’t all about you.
You need to look at this person you’re falling for and ask yourself if you’re going to be the best partner for them. Are you going to push their buttons, are you willing to support them in their dreams are you going to make them think twice about their views and not constantly agree because it’s easier? Are you?
Are you willing to take the bad with the good because, you know, that’s what you’re expecting them to do with you, right? Because a relationship is two people. Two people who need to constantly work together to stay together, you can’t just get married and think everything is going to be rosy because it’s not. It’s making sure that you are both the most important thing to each other, that you will do what it takes to make your partner happy and they with you.
It’s about holding hands through the shit times as well as the good. Of being compassionate and understanding.
An elderly man was once asked what the secret to his long marriage was, his reply? “Two people being too stubborn to give up”.
So, instead of looking for your ‘perfect partner’ start thinking about what kind of partner would you make? What are your faults as well as your strengths and that way, you’ll know what kind of person you need, rather than the one that you think you want.
If you enjoyed my blog there is more information on having a good relationship in my “Little Handbook on Relationships?” available through my website www.katrina-jane.com or if you have an issue with your relationship and feel a bit of clarity is needed, just book a one question reading! www.katrina-jane.cm/readings