Raising Children: How to Guide Them to Be Wonderful Adults

14 February 2018

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Raising children, if there is one topic that is going to bring up a lot of argument, it’s this one!

I’m not an expert, however I have raised a child to adulthood!

I’ve also done a lot of readings for people that have had issues with raising their children and over the years I’ve noticed some things that I’d like to share with you.

I always used to say to my son that my job as a parent, was to raise a kind, self-sufficient adult that can cope with negativity…… OK, I lie, I say that to people.

To my son, I told him that my job as a parent was to embarrass him…. I did a pretty good job of that, if I do say so myself!

So, back to raising children and how you can guide them to be wonderful adults.

The first thing is that every child is different.

Some children are creative, others studious, then you have the sensitive ones, the sporty ones and the arrogant ones that push every button.

Ahhh the joys of raising children!

The second thing is this, STOP trying to be their friend!

Your children don’t need a friend, they need a parent. They need to know that their parent has their back and that they can go to them to talk about anything.

Your children have friends in their peer groups.  You trying to be their best buddy makes you lose authority – what are you, their friend or their parent?

That doesn’t mean you can’t have a good relationship with them, you can, you don’t have to be some kind of ogre to them.

Be there for them, have fun with them but overall you’re their parent and they need to see you as such because you’re raising children, that’s your job.

Third I want to tell you to say no to your children.

It’s important that they don’t get everything they want. As adults they’re not going to be able to have everything that they want, that’s life.

They don’t have to do every sport that they want. Or have every game that’s going around.

Believe it or not, by saying no you’re building resilience, you’re not going to scar them for life.

Fourth – Make them clean up after themselves.

From when my son was 1 and walking at night before bed, he had to pick up all his toys and put them into the toybox.  I’d help him when he was really young but by 3 he was doing it himself.

I HATE seeing those advertisements where the kids are put to bed then the mum walks out to a room full of toys and they do a big sigh about having to pick everything up.

This is teaching them responsibility – they leave a mess, then they clean it up.

You’re their parent, not their slave.

Fifth – lead by example.

You can’t sit there watching TV making comments like “I can’t believe she’s wearing that” or “what has she done to herself” you get the drift.

Then you tell your kids not to bully others?  They see you are doing it and speaking to a TV to them is no different than sending similar emails – both are disconnected.

Don’t talk about cheating your boss or cheating the tax department and then teaching them to be honest.

And if, in raising your children you want them to be confident women, and if you have boys, you do not want them to treat women as objects – then do not complain about how you need to lose weight, or spend your time constantly critizing yourself.

Kids watch and learn – you are their role models.

Sixth – Pick your battles

Seriously, if it’s not going to cause them harm think about whether or not it’s worth the fight.

I’m talking younger children here not teenagers, because you are teaching them responsibility for their actions!

Seriously, if your child wants to wear their gumboots (Wellingtons) to school, let them!

Tell the teacher that they refused to wear their proper shoes so whatever the school rules are – make sure that they are disciplined accordingly.

When you feel an argument coming on, ask yourself why it’s important for you to win. If it’s because you’re more concerned what others will think, then it’s not worth the win.

Well, there you go. There’s some tips for you in your job raising children.

It’s not easy. There’s no rulebook. Do your best.

One response on “Raising Children: How to Guide Them to Be Wonderful Adults

  1. Donna Newton says:

    I totally agree with you, l have a great relationship with my two, now 19yrs next week and 18 yrs in April, l learnt to pick my battles, l am by no means perfect at all, l loved your tips Katrina thanks xx

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