I have known Bethany for 5 years and in an amazing journey over the past couple of years Bethany has transformed her life. When I caught up with Bethany again in February I interviewed her because I admire her so much and I hope that when you read her story and that you are inspired as well to follow whatever goal you have.
This is Bethany’s story.
Katrina: Bethany lost a lot of weight and I mean a lot. I watched her journey through Facebook and she inspired me because of the determination that she showed to see it through to the end. It must have been incredibly overwhelming to completely change your whole concept of food and lifestyle. I met you 5 years ago and you were a bigger girl and I didn’t think you were huge even though as you say, you must have been, I just didn’t see it, instead I saw your beautiful soul.
How did this journey for you start?
Bethany: It started because my pants were too tight I was a size 24 but to be honest they would have stretched so were probably a size 25. I am 5ft 1in tall so that is large and I knew that women’s clothing only went to a 26. I had always been big but my weight was stable from my early 20’s to 30’s then it started slowly to creep up. Why did it creep up? Lifestyle? Not paying attention, lack of knowledge all of those things combined.
In my early 20’s I was a size 22 but it crept up to a slow way until my 24 pants were too tight. I didn’t know what I would do if I couldn’t buy clothes if my weight kept creeping up. I have never been into fashion, I put more effort in now but not much, if I like it I wear it. Comfort has always come first. I remember speaking to two of my girlfriends and one of them ran the crèche at the local gym and she said let me have a think and I’ll put you in touch with someone and then she gave me the name and number of one of her work colleagues and said his name is Michael and I think he would work well with you.
I got in touch with him and made an appointment to see him on the Tuesday. The Thursday before that my dog Abby was really sick – you had predicted that this would happen and I had ignored it!! She was off her food and I knew there was a problem. Abby spent the next day at doggie hospital having tests and her system was shutting down, she was 13 years old and a rescue dog and I had only had her for 6 years. She was given tablets to try and help her system and it became really apparent that although I wasn’t ready for Abby to go, she was and I made the tough decision over the weekend and Abbey was booked in to be euthanized on the Tuesday. I was in a course on the weekend and Abby was with my parents and I spent Monday with Abby and didn’t want to leave her alone but I had this appointment with this trainer and this was the most valid reason to not keep that appointment, however I knew that I had to keep it so I had a chat with Abby and I told her that I think I need to look after myself better and that’s the only reason I am going to leave you, I told her that grandad was going to come and stay with her and that was a great opportunity for my dad to spend time with her and say his goodbyes as well without me being around. So off I went to see this trainer. I didn’t do any exercise at that appointment he weighed me and measured me and we had a chat about nutrition and what I didn’t like to eat and what I did and about lifestyle and my history and I told him that how much I weighed when I was 11 and he said that because I weighed that at 11 I would never get below that weight and I thought to myself, well, I’m going to prove you wrong.
I remember down the track when I weighed in for the first time under that weight and I turned to him and said ‘I told you so’. He said, ‘what do you mean?’ and I said ‘you told me on that first appointment with you that I would never weigh under that 11 year olds weight’. And I’ve just proven you wrong. When I started with him I was training with him twice a week and changed my food and his rules and it was all just too hard and I ended up dropping down to one day a week but I wasn’t prepared to give up that one day a week and I wouldn’t weigh in because I didn’t want to know what my weight was, I had given up one hour with Abby that I will never get back and I wasn’t willing to make that sacrifice for nothing.
Before Abby got sick, I got Bella to keep Abby company and I felt that she needed someone and when she died I realised that Abby had got Bella for me not the other way around. For the first 8 months all I did was see the trainer once a week, I didn’t weigh in or anything, so just training for once a week for that hour and that was it, nothing else.
I have a philosophy that I now live by, when you make a change make one that is sustainable and that you can stick to until it becomes a habit. After that 8 months a friend became a consultant in a weight loss business and I wanted to support her and that particular program had sashays which were supposed to be supplements of vitamins but I don’t believe that they were, I mean strawberry flavouring isn’t vitamins and minerals, there was something that said ‘this isn’t the way’ – so I did the maintenance program instead, this is the program that people go on when they have reached their goal weight and I was on that for 15 weeks and for the last 5 weeks my weight loss jumped between 8-10 kilos. That is when I realised that every other time I had ever tried to lose weight that I would lose 10 kilos then the wheels would come off. So I had a misguided belief that I could only lose 10 kilos and that’s it then the weight would creep back on.
So I spoke to the trainer and bumped up another session per week and he said I can weigh and measure you – weigh once a week and measure once every six weeks. The first week I weighed-in was almost a year to the day and I remember standing on the scales, please let it be 15 kilo’s I kept thinking and I just kept saying it over and over in my mind, because I knew 15 was far enough away from 10 that the belief that I could only lose 10 would be blown out of the water. He showed me the numbers next and I had lost 18.9kg. That was the point for me and there was no looking back and before I knew it I had lost 35.9kg.
I never knew how much I wanted to lose, as I had no idea what my body would look like without that fat, I wasn’t one of those people that had a goal of going back to a certain weight. I wanted to be something around the 60-70kg and that is a weight that I had never been before. When I started I wanted to lose 30kg and I remember a conversation with my mum and she said only aim for 10 and I said no, I will be happy with 30 and that was always my goal. After having lost 30kg I realised that I could do it and that I wanted to lose somewhere between 60kg and 70kg. I knew I would have issues with skin and how much it would weigh but that wasn’t going to stop me.
I rewarded myself with every 5kg loss I would buy myself an item or go to a movie, I never used food as a reward, food is an issue and I needed to get out of the mindset that it is a punishment or a reward.
When I lost 30kg that was my nearly half-way mark and I went and put on lay-by an expensive piece of jewelry and when I lost 35kg I picked it up and that was a constant solid reminder that I could do this that I had done it and now all I had to do was do it all over again.
At the beginning I advise don’t focus on how far you have to go but focus on how far you’ve come because when you start you will always be closer to where you started rather than where you have come from. It was a very different headspace for me to learn.
I remember when I thought that I would have lost 50kg so I wore my old clothes that I had first worn when I met my trainer and I had to put a knot in my pants and a knot in my top so nothing would fall down. My ¾ pants were now hanging down on my feet and it was a real eye opener. I kept a pair of fat pants and I pull those down when I have a fat day (Katrina: as we all do) and it was a real eye opener for me that people have fat days regardless of how fat or thin they are.
After that it was much easier and my relationship with food and the types of food I ate has changed and it has been gradual, I’ve tried some things for a while but then plateau – it took me 2.5 years to get to the point that I wanted to. I had a pre-surgery weight and a post-surgery weight because I had to have surgery to remove the excess skin I was left with. I have had three operations and one more to go but my weight didn’t change at all post-surgery. After each surgery my weight stayed at 68kg and the last 2 months my weight has dropped down to what I thought it would be post-surgery, but I have really had to drastically change to get that last bit of weight off. Surgery was big I was under anesthetic for up to 4 hours.
I’m now down to around 62kg.
Katrina: Are you at the point where you’re happy with where you are at? Is it just maintaining?
Bethany: I have a couple more kilo’s that I want to lose. The major change that I have made this time is that I eat six little meals a day rather than 3 meals a day. And that has made the hugest difference. My energy is constant and I don’t feel bloated.
I still see my trainer twice a week, if I couldn’t do it long term then I wouldn’t do it. It’s been interesting to learn to listen to my body and hear the signals and understand what my body is telling me.
People ask what I did to lose weight and my standard reply is diet and exercise.
Katrina: You have had to change the way you view food and also a complete lifestyle change.
Bethany: My personal belief is that people don’t carry a vast amount of excess weight unless there are emotional issues involved. You need to deal with the emotional crap and if you don’t then you will have limited success. I can’t tell you what my issues were but I know that I have a love and empathy for myself. Five years prior to starting to go to the gym I had started working on my emotional crap and when I had dealt with that, I knew that my next journey was losing the weight.
Katrina: – I hope that after reading Bethany’s story you are inspired to follow your goals, take small steps that you know you can sustain, this isn’t telling you to lose weight, because that isn’t what it is about, it’s about the determination to see it to the end, to put in whatever effort is needed, to listen to your body and your heart. Bethany, is truly an inspiration and one that continues on and I am so proud to be able to call her my friend.
If you would like to listen to the entire interview it can be found on my YouTube channel https://youtu.be/tCemXt4OpVA