What does love mean?
Have you ever asked yourself what love means?
Far too many people put up with shit in a relationship because they think that’s what love means.
Let’s play a little scenario …..
Do you have a friend who will continually vent to your about her partner, going through all the crappy things he has said or done since you last caught up. All the ways he’s run her down, made her feel like she was worth nothing / constantly wrong
And when you ask her why she doesn’t leave, and she’ll reply “But I love him”.
Are you staying with a partner who treats you terribly? Is your excuse for their bad behaviour “That you love them?”
In any scenario similar to what I’ve just mentioned, you need to flip things around.
If you’re partner loved you, if that’s truly what love means would they speak to you that way?
If your partner loved you:-
Would they threaten to take your child?
Would they continually run you down?
Would they continually tell you that you’re stupid?
Making you feel like shit …. Do you think that they love you?
They may say that they do, when you threaten to leave, or when things are going through a nice patch, they’ll say that they love you.
But do their words match their actions?
Because while being with someone you love isn’t going to be perfect, there needs to be a hell of a lot more good times than bad, and never when you’re in a relationship with someone and they love you will they run you down so you feel like shit, you may disagree on things, have a bit of a yell.
But it’s a one off, not a “I’m sorry, it won’t happen again” and then it happens again.
And again.
So, if reading this, you realise that you or maybe a friend justifies staying with someone that is constantly treating you badly with the “….. but I love him” excuse.
Ask yourself this.
What can you possibly love about a person who makes you feel so bad inside? How can you tell yourself and those around you and even the world, that, that’s love?
Are you mistaking love for security? Maybe you’ve never had good role models when it comes to loving relationships.
It’s time to learn and to stop being with someone that treats you like shit more often than not, because that in no way can be defined as love. And while you’re making excuses for them, they will continue to treat you like crap – because they don’t love you.
If it happens once, it’s a mistake, if it happens again then that’s a choice.
And that second time they will never mean ‘sorry’
What they are saying and doing to you, isn’t from a place of love, it’s from a place of control.
Time to stop making excuses.
Omg this is my life the past 10 years, I really need to come have a chat with you Katrina and get some guidance. I’m so lost at the moment.
I had this conversation the other day with my son’s partner. They have a friend in a ‘horrid’ relationship. She regularly tells them about how horrible it is, how she is going to leave etc etc…..but once she has is over the hurt & the pain & the sadness etc & he is in a “reasonably nice” mood & has manipulated her & twisted the truth & made her feel guilty her response to all his terrible unacceptable controlling behaviour is…”But I love him”. “He is the love of my life!” I personally think you need to “like” them! Like how they treat you, like how they speak to you. Like how they behave in shitty times {well at least feel safe}, like how they speak to you & how they speak about your friends & family.