Why do we change for others? Why do we feel that who we are isn’t enough for someone? We’ve all got that friend who is a chameleon, when they start going out with someone new then all of a sudden they are a completely different person, and it frustrates the hell out of everyone around them.
I’m not saying don’t learn new things that’s all a part of change, but those intrinsic parts of ourselves that we seem to be ashamed of. Where we feel that if we don’t say or do something that the other person wants then there is something wrong with us. Let’s, for instance take nude selfies, now I’m not having a go at people who do this OK? But this is about those people that feel that they HAVE to do it to keep their boyfriend/girlfriend that when their partner starts demanding they do it, they do, even though they don’t really want to. I’m sure the comments would be something along the lines of ‘everyone is doing it’ or ‘if you loved me you’d send me a pic’ maybe ‘what’s wrong with you, you’re so uptight’ to name a few. Instead of turning around and saying, ‘there’s something wrong with you for wanting me to do something I’m uncomfortable with’ they end up doing it, and then whamo, it’s all over the internet because the person has shared it or maybe a ‘friend’ has gotten his hands on the phone.
This isn’t about saying something like this is the victims fault, it’s not. My concern is, why do we allow ourselves to be made to feel that we aren’t enough as we are? That our values and how we feel about ourselves is important? That we go against everything we feel ok, that we change for others because we want to feel like we fit in?
Maybe we need to start teaching our children that it’s OK to be them, that it’s OK not to follow the crowd, if enough parents do it, then more children will hopefully stand up for themselves. But this isn’t even about children, adults as well will do this, they won’t stand up for who they are, their beliefs, their core values for what? Fear of rejection? Sure no-one likes to be rejected but what we each have to remember that the person that is trying to force us to do something we’re not comfortable with, well they have the problem, not you. If they truly cared about you, they wouldn’t be trying to do that. This is different from encouragement to step out of our comfort zones, this is about trying to manipulate you to do something that you really don’t want to do, maybe you’re not ready for it, but you wait until you are.
Because you are enough, just as you are don’t ever forget that. Stick to your beliefs and your goals and your value’s because they are what make you the wonderful person that you are.