You really have to love how the universe works things out for us, don’t you? Well, maybe not when it doesn’t go the way we had hoped, but in the end they do know best.
For quite a while I had wanted to attend a 5 day course with BelindaGrace – doing training to be a clairvoyant healer, you see that’s what I felt I may have been, wasn’t sure but hey! You have to start somewhere, right?

Working for my GG finally allowed me to be able to do this as when I was working as an EA the timing was never right for me when the courses were held but now it felt right. I spoke to GG and said I wanted to do the course and he was all ‘go for it babe!’. (That’s why he’s my Gorgeous Guy!)
Now, if you’ve met me you know I come across all outgoing and confident when in reality I would prefer to be sitting on the lounge in my PJ’s reading a book ….. and going somewhere by myself is a HUGE thing for me to do.

I hate it. I really, really hate going places by myself when I don’t know anyone.

I’m not talking food shopping but classes or events …….. fear factor warp five kicks in, I tell you!
But, I booked in, paid the money and off I went for a 5 day intensive training.

And of course some really weird shit happened while I was there – I met my Spirit Guide for the first time, he came to me and holy crap, wouldn’t leave me alone! He would wake me up at 2.00am snorting like a pig. That’s right, SNORTING. LIKE. A. PIG. And then he’d laugh and laugh and I’d just tell him to fuck off and roll over and go back to sleep.

I enjoyed the class and it allowed me to have more confidence in the information that I was receiving, and somewhere along the line I learnt to just go with the flow of things. Believe me, I’m not really a ‘go with the flow’ kind of person, but in this instance, I didn’t know what the alternative could be so just figured that it felt right at the moment so that was that.

One thing that I really felt strongly while doing this course was telling my step-father what I was doing, not that I needed his permission but I just felt that I wasn’t being true to myself by avoiding this change that was happening in my life, with him or with anyone, it wasn’t something that I should be ashamed of and while I wasn’t, I also didn’t want people to look at me all kind of weird, you know?

It’s all about being honest with who you are, whatever that is. And while I’m not gay I have a kind of understanding of what it must be like for someone to ‘come out’ to their family about who they really are, that takes fucking guts, because you’re terrified of rejection, of being judged when all you want is them to say ‘oh, ok as long as your happy’…..

Yeah, well, I didn’t get that because my step-father is a religious hypocrite who is very judgmental and of course I must be doing the devil’s work …… however, I did tell him and I have to be honest here and say it was something very difficult to do (I got religious lectures off him weekly as a teenager) but it was SO freeing, just stating the fact and then moving on in the conversation, it also helped that I did it by phone…..
I really believe that by speaking up and being true to myself and not letting someone else’s opinion make me want to hide my gifts really opened something up within me.

I was ready to take on the world.

OK, well maybe not the world, but a few people in my town perhaps! LOL But there was a huge shift of energy that happened within me, and while doing the course helped I don’t feel that was the key, the key was being true to who I am, not hiding it, not bragging about it, but just accepting it and knowing it is what it is.

Next week – getting out there….