Ever wondered who the child bullies are?
Bullying. It’s a word that generates fear into every parent.
Gone are the days of teasing in the playground, with the development of the internet and social media, those that are being bullied are being bombarded day in and day out, with no escape.
As I write this, two young teenage girls have taken their own life because of the relentless bullying that they have received.
There is mass media about how to help your child with bullying and ways to try and spot that they are being bullied.
I want to ask you one question.
What if your child is the bully?
Don’t dismiss it, and don’t kick it out of the ballpark.
With the amount of children that are being bullied, SOMEONE has to be the bully.
I’m sure you will think instantly ‘my child would never be a bully’.
Can you be sure of that? Really sure? 100% positive?
Do something for me today. No, not for me, for all the children out there that are being bullied.
Do this one thing.
Go home tonight and take your child / children’s phone and computer off them and really look through them.
Search through their emails. Facebook messages. Snapchat and whatever.
Check through all the messages that they have sent and received.
Fuck the whole ‘it’s an invasion of privacy’ shit this is about life and death and I mean that sincerely.
Children are killing themselves because of a bully.
Don’t for one minute, think that you’re not the ‘typical’ home of a bully. That your family is well adjusted, your children are good kids.
My son went to a private school, when he was in Year 11 (about 17 years old) he lived with my parents as we had moved and he wanted to stay at that school to finish to Year 12.
All good. Until I got a phone call from the principal stating that Alex had been named in an incident on the bus. Apparently, an older boy said to a year 7 (13 years old) girl that he was going to follow her home and rape her.
OMG.
But it gets worse, this poor girl had previously been raped, that’s why her parents changed her school.
OMG.
I couldn’t believe that my son would do that …. Could he?
Instead of denying it I told the principal to leave it with me. I rang my son and asked him what had happened
He said that he was sitting up the back of the bus and playing his Gameboy (yes, this happened a few years ago and my son is a gorgeous computer nerd!) and he wasn’t really aware of what was going on but his mate sitting next to him did say those words to that girl.
OK, phew, not my son.
Just checking here son, did YOU say anything to her? No, he was adamant that he didn’t. I just want to point out here that I have brought him up to admit mistakes, apologise for them and learn from them, not to hide from them so I believed him.
However, I wasn’t going to let him off the hook, I explained to him how wrong it was for his mate to say that but it was worse that he (my son) hadn’t done anything to correct him. You don’t just stand by and allow something like that to happen.
I explained to him about what had happened to the girl in the past. He was horrified and realized that while it was wrong point blank, in this situation it had escalated.
The boy in question had to sit down with the parents and apologise, my son volunteered to sit with him in support. And hey, we all make mistakes but again, we need to own up to them, apologise and move on.
But what my son did, that I’m proud of is write to the girl and also spoke to the parents saying that if she EVER felt scared or threatened by anyone, that she was to let him know and he would make sure that she got home safely.
You see, bullies are everywhere.
So tonight, if when looking through their phone, you find out that they ARE being a bully, act on it, don’t ignore it.
Your child being a bully isn’t a reflection on you as a parent and I think in a way that’s where the whole ignoring the fact that your child could be the bully comes into play. It makes YOU look bad as a parent.
Talk to them about it. Book them in to a psychologist. They may be lacking in self-esteem. They may feel pressured by others around them.
Your child being a bully doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. Ignoring the fact that your child is a bully or not believing that your child could be a bully is a sign of bad parenting.
I read a comment by a lady who found out her son was being a bully and she was mortified, however, she didn’t ignore it, she booked him in to counselling and they uncovered the reasons why and you know what? She stopped one bully.
The only way we are going to slow this epidemic down is by finding the bullies and make them realise how damaging what they are doing is, by making them realise that it’s not OK, by finding out WHY they are doing it so that you can help them.
Please, I beg of you. Do it today.
Katrina-Jane
An out of the box awesome Clairvoyant
https://www.facebook.com/KatrinaJaneClairvoyantMedium/