What is Fear?  According to the online dictionary it’s – an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm.

But fear is so much more than that and also quite complex.

Sure, fear is something that kicks in when we are faced with a decision that could be life or death.  Hmmmm – do I walk close to that cliff edge? And if I was too, that fear factor would certainly click in.

That’s a very useful thing when fear kicks in like that!  It’s what helps us from making decisions that could physically hurt us (though not everyone!)

However, far too many of us base our fears not on the threat of danger, pain or harm. 

Instead, it can be a fear that is based on our self-esteem – we fear what others may think of us.

For others it can be a fear of failure, and again that could link to what others think of us or our own personal high expectations.

That kind of fear doesn’t actually do us any good.  All it’s doing is holding us back from achieving things that we’d really like to achieve.

Plenty of people hide this kind of fear behind an excuse – “I can’t go to university because the kids still need me” – when in fact you have a fear of failing at university.

“I couldn’t survive financially on my own” – could be a fear of being alone

How about “I couldn’t possibly stand up in front of a crowd of people and share my story”?  This could be a fear of rejection, which is a fear of what others think of us – possibly linked to our low self-esteem.

When you hear yourself saying those kinds of things, whether out loud or in your head, does there seem to be a constant running dialogue going on in there?  If you are anything like me, then there is!

Ask yourself this:

What am I really afraid of?

Be honest with yourself because you need to face those fears.  Those fears based on what others think of us is what’s going to hold you back from trying and doing all those things that you’ve ever wanted to do.

Remember that failure is a verb, it’s not a noun, you will NEVER be a failure.  However, you CAN fail at something.

Start looking at failure as a good thing, because:

  1. It means that you at least gave something new a go
  2. If it didn’t work or wasn’t what you thought it would be, at least now you know
  3. And that means you can either try again, or walk away and try something else
  4. Which leads to you never having regrets or wondering ‘what if’.

When you release the care of what others think about you, it’s the most freeing thing in the world, and then in the future, you’re more likely to try things you never thought you would.

Hell, I took up pole dancing at the age of 47!! 

I decided a few years ago to face fears head on, and so I did the following – just to see if I could:-

  • I had a big python draped around my neck in Vietnam
  • I did the Canyon Swing in New Zealand
  • I had a boudoir photo shoot done
  • I took up pole dancing.

You know what? 

I showed myself just what I’m capable of doing.  Ok, I’ll be honest and I was shitting my pants doing the Canyon Swing!!

But I did it.

By facing those stupid fears (and let’s be honest a lot of them are stupid) I have now experienced things I never thought I would.

So, ask yourself, what’s it that you’re really afraid of?

Then ask yourself, is this a real fear (as in danger to you) or are you caring too much what people may think.

Sign up for that course, do the career change or the sea/ tree change. 

At least you can say you tried.

Katrina-jane