Most people that walk through my door have a hard time delegating.  Whether that is a fear of admitting that you’re not coping and asking for help, standing up for yourself and what you want to do or they think if they admit they need help that they aren’t a good parent, employee, child, sibling or friend.  We seem to have joined struggle with success – as in “I’m a good person because I put everyone before I put myself”.  That does not make you a good person.  It makes you a doormat.  People know when someone is a push-over and they will just palm off their work or problems to them and not feel bad about it and the person is left to struggle on.

There is nothing at all wrong with admitting that you want to do something for yourself – or that you don’t want to do something for that matter!  I hate housecleaning and therefore I have a housecleaner and I will always work so that I can pay for one – in the process I am helping out a friend financially by paying her to do the work that she actually enjoys doing.  As far as I’m concerned it’s a win / win situation – why should I waste my life doing something I hate?  I would rather put my energies into the things I enjoy doing – like writing this blog, doing readings and the free mini readings!

I know not everyone can afford to pay someone to do the things that they don’t enjoy – but again, there is delegation – you have children?  Teach them to pull their weight, you’re actually doing them a favour – have a partner?  Make sure that they pull their weight as well, doing those two things will free up some time for you to start doing the things you want to do.

People around you forever asking you to do things and you feel bad about saying no?  Try this instead – when asked to do something (whether for friend or work colleague) say to them “I would love to help you but I can’t at the moment, when I’ve finished what I have to do and I have the time, then I will be more than happy to help you” – you haven’t said an outright no, but you have let them know that what you are doing is more important than what they are doing, and they will usually either do it themselves or get someone else to do it.

So, learn to say no, learn to delegate where appropriate and enjoy the time you create to focus on some ‘me’ time.