The ultimate goal in life these days seems to be ‘how to be happy’.

I’m not quite sure why that is or even how it came about, that the focus in our lives is meant to be ‘happy’.  In fact, it seems to be the buzz word of the 21^st Century, doesn’t it?

I have to honestly say that I can’t recall my parents or grandparents talking about trying to be ‘happy’ or trying to find ways in which to be fulfilled.

And with all this pressure on being happy, more and more of us seem to be getting more and more miserable.

I’d like you to take a moment to understand what happiness is.

What does ‘being happy’ mean to you?

According to the dictionary – Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being defined by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.

And this, my friend is where it all starts to fall apart, because I feel that far too many people fail in their quest to find happiness in their lives, simple because they seem to think that happiness is far more than it really is.

It isn’t living in a state of intense joy! That’s completely unattainable.  What you also need to realise is this, happiness isn’t defined by one thing alone.

Do you think you’ll be happy when you get that job promotion?  Maybe it’s when you finally own your own home.  Or when you know that you’re financially secure. Perhaps you know you’ll be happy when you finally get to travel the world.

But are any of those things really what happiness is?

I hate to blow your bubble, but none of those things on their own is going to make you happy.  You’ll strive and strive and then when you get there, you’ll realise you’re still not happy and then you’ll think that you need to find another achievement to focus on, hoping that when it’s achieved you’ll be happy then.

This just leaves you in a constant state of wanting, not happiness.  Because what you’re doing is putting your happiness in the hands of achieving something.  Thinking that when you reach a certain goal, all of a sudden, your life will be better and you’ll be happy.  That miraculously all your problems will go away, that any issues you’ve been avoiding will suddenly disappear.

Being happy is a state of being, not an achievement and if you think that achieving one thing will make you happy while the rest of your world is falling apart, well, you’re just never going to get there.  As the saying goes, happiness isn’t a destination it’s a journey and that journey isn’t going to be all rainbows and unicorns, you’re going to be stressed and upset and others times things will go just the way you hoped.

Happiness is not having some perfect life, it’s just living.  So, how can you achieve this all illusive ‘happiness’ that you’ve been trying so hard to reach?

You need to understand and accept that what I mentioned previously is true.  That being happy isn’t constantly smiling and laughing and feeling this amazing amount of joy just bursting to get out of you.

In a way I believe that we should remove happy from our vocabulary in the meaning that it is something that we should all be striving for because it’s just causing too much confusion for people.

You know what I believe happiness is?  It’s contentment.

Contentment according to the dictionary: Contentment is a mental or emotional state of satisfaction drawn from being at ease in one’s situation, body and mind. Colloquially speaking, contentment is a state of having accepted one’s situation and is a form of happiness.

Doesn’t that sound much easier to achieve?!

When content, you’re satisfied, you’re calm, you’re not striving for more.  You’re not basing how you’re feeling on achievements.

When you get to the point in your life that no matter what the situation, you’re OK with it.  Then you’ll be happy.

Achieving something isn’t going to make you happy – enjoying the journey and the challenges that you face and deal with is being happy.

Don’t think for one moment that contentment means that you just sit around and not try to better yourself or your life, it means that you aren’t putting some happiness goal onto the outcome, because you’re already happy.

You can study to further your education for a better job because it’s something you want to do, not because you think it will make you happy.  You can continue to be a better person, to continually learn but the reason you do it is to grow and to learn and to be that better person.  You’re not doing it thinking that when you have achieved that goal, you’ll be happy.

That my friends is what being happy really means – being content.

Love & light

Katrina x