One of the hardest things in life is knowing when to let go or to stay.

And believe me I know!  I’ve been in jobs that I hate because it’s secure, I stayed in a marriage far longer than I should because I didn’t want to consider myself a failure.

Whether a relationship, job, where you live, starting your own business or even resentment towards someone – we all need to know when it’s time to let go or if we should stay.

The reason that it’s so difficult is because our emotions override our logic and believe me, emotions are very powerful things! They cloud all of the common sense that we would normally think about.

Here’s some things to think about when you’re deciding whether or not you should stay or you should go.

  1. Is it changing you? – in this instance, who you are, your values, your beliefs are what you need to stay true to.  If you find that someone in your life or your job is making you bend in ways that aren’t true to who you are and it makes you uncomfortable, then it’s time to go.
  2. There’s no trust – if you’re in a relationship, and when I say relationship, that’s romantic, friendship or family and the other person has no regards to your feelings, when they lie to you and expect you to constantly forgive them, because you care about them. Then it’s time to go.
  3. You’re making excuses – when you find that you’re constantly justifying someone’s bad behavior, with things like ‘oh they were busy, that’s why they forgot my birthday’ or maybe ‘my boss is under a lot of pressure that’s why he’s being rude’. It’s time to go.
  4. You’re the one compromising – If you find that you’re the one that’s always giving in, that’s always putting your own needs last and everyone else’s first – then you it’s time to go.
  5. You hate the situation you’re in – if you really hate your job, I mean really hate it. If you hate the relationship that you’re in or even your family -then it’s time to go.

With the above, before just packing your bags and leaving your partner / job, etc,  I do suggest that you sit down and talk with the other person.  This is if you can.  While yes, there are narcissists in this world who won’t give a crap, there are also people who actually have no idea how they come across or how their behavior is affecting you.

Sit down, tell them how you’re feeling.  If they realise there needs to be changes and implement them, that’s great.  However, if they talk the talk but don’t walk the walk, as in they don’t change their behavior – then it’s time to go.

I am a believer in giving someone the benefit of the doubt: giving someone a chance to change.  However, if they’re not willing to do that; then I’m not giving any more of my energy to them.

Oh, and yes, that also means that I’m willing to listen and change as well!  It’s not always everyone else’s problem.  Sometimes we’re the problem!

While sometimes we need to ‘keep at it’ to be able to make things work, if the situation that you’re in is actually causing you emotional or even physical harm, then it’s time to let go and move on.  If you’re just feeling a bit deflated because something’s not working, then it’s probably worth staying.  But if you’ve touched on any of the above points, then it’s time to move on.

Remember it’s not a sign of failure when something doesn’t work, it’s a sign that you’ve tried something, learnt from it (hopefully) and ready to put your energies towards something that is more positive for you.

Love & Light

Katrina-Jane